The Rich Top 5: the Athletes Chris Brockman Should Insult Next Following His LeBron Hot Take

Chris Brockman said something about LeBron James. LeBron James responded on Instagram with 22 laughing emojis to 154 million followers. Then he name-checked the take at Fanatics Fest, said it gave him "just a little motivation," and Awful Announcing put the show in the headline.

One take, one week, an entire news cycle. So Rich did the only responsible thing and turned it into a business plan.

The premise is simple. If insulting the most followed athlete on the planet gets you free publicity, why stop at one? Rich came in with a list of the top five athletes Chris should insult next, ranked by follower count and degree of difficulty.

5. Patrick Mahomes. Roughly 15 million followers across his platforms, which Rich noted is just a little less than his tight end. Chris already has a head start here, having ranked Josh Allen above him in his quarterback power rankings, a move that got him accused of the usual things. "He'll get handled when he gets handled," Rich said.

4. Shohei Ohtani. The most followed baseball player on the planet, with 11 million on Instagram alone and more than 30 million across everything. Rich had one request. Do it in Japanese so the whole world can read it. Chris offered to hit translate.

3. Kevin Durant. Forty-five million followers across all platforms, "not including his burner accounts," as Rich put it. This one carries risk, and Rich said so out loud. Durant sees everything and he does clap back. "The man doesn't need much prodding to clap back." Chris was not thrilled: "I don't know if I need that."

2. Tom Brady. Sixteen million on Instagram, and if he were still active he would be the most followed player in the NFL by a wide margin. This is also the one Chris flatly refused. Brady is his hero. Rich called it the heel turn of all heel turns. Chris pleaded the fifth.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo. The mother lode. The most followed human being on the planet who plays any sport. Rich went so far as to offer material, mentioning the statue and the eyebrows, before advising Chris to slow down and take his time rather than shoot from the hip. Which, Chris pointed out, is exactly how they ended up on LeBron in the first place.

Then came the bonus entry, and it might be the sharpest strategic advice in the segment. Keep going at LeBron. The other four are speculative. That one is proven.

"This one is just clearly tried and true," Rich said. "And you just keep going at them."

The origin story is appropriately unserious. Rich came up with the list on the way to work. He had texted Smitch and Hoskins about doing a top five on second-half MLB storylines instead, and got, in his words, immediate snap agreement for the Brockman version.

Chris then received homework. Over the next hour of the show, Rich would set him up one at a time and Chris would have to actually deliver the insults on air.

Chris got out ahead of it with a preemptive defense. "I'm not insulting Tom Brady. Okay, sorry. That's not happening."

We will see how that holds up.