The World's Most Pessimistic Indianapolis Colts Fan Just Called into the Rich Eisen Show

If the Dolphins had the most optimistic fan in America, the Colts may have produced his exact opposite. Raone called in from Jacksonville, of all places, to play the win-loss game for Indianapolis, and he arrived with no faith and a very funny origin story.

He became a Colts fan, he explained, by accident. When he started following sports as a kid, he assumed his father was a Colts fan, only to discover the man had been a Saints fan the whole time. Robbed of the chance to pick his own team, Raone got stuck with the Colts, which was fine when they were good. Now, he said, it is a dark era, made worse by living among Jaguars fans who give him grief without winning much themselves.

Then he proceeded to lose nearly every game on the schedule. The Ravens in Week 1 were an instant L, no thought required. A trip to Kansas City was the same. He admitted he had not even looked at the schedule and was confused about his own quarterback situation, with Daniel Jones getting the big money, Anthony Richardson trying to work his way back, and the young drafted quarterback seemingly stuck waiting.

The losses piled up against the Texans, Washington in London, and a Pittsburgh team where, he predicted, Aaron Rodgers would turn back the clock for four touchdowns. He finally gave himself a win over the Titans, then promptly lost at Minnesota, at Jacksonville, where he goes to every game and leaves disappointed, and to the Cowboys. He even forecast Malik Willis playing like an all-time quarterback to beat the Colts. A second win, over the Giants, snapped him briefly back to life before the schedule buried him again.

By the end, Raone had talked himself into roughly a two-win season and seemed genuinely at peace with it, hoping mainly for a high draft pick and some direction. The host found the silver lining, joking that with a record like that, his self-described nephew Arch Manning might be headed Raone's way. Raone's crossed fingers said it all. He just wanted football, and maybe, eventually, a graceful new era.