The Rich Top 5: a Casual Soccer Fan’s Top World Cup Observations

Rich has been watching a lot of World Cup with family and friends, and he wants credit for doing it properly. "I'm a professional observer," he said on the show. So he delivered a top five list of what he has observed, and none of it was about tactics.

At number five: every goalkeeper save must be followed by the goalkeeper yelling at someone, if not everyone. Rich could not work out the target. Is it his own defense for allowing the shot, the ref for missing a call, the opponents for reasons unknown? Someone in the studio figured it was the defense. Rich was not sure. "But it's fascinating," he said. "I've observed it."

Coming in at four: referees use body language more than actual language. Rich allowed that this might be a language barrier, with officials and players often lacking a shared first language. Whatever the reason, he sees the refs as "silent movie actors," waving players up, pointing, signaling that everyone should move on.

The third observation got a big laugh. "Always raise your arm because the ball's never off." Anytime the ball goes out for a throw-in, a corner or a goal kick, both teams put their arms up. Rich called it "the international symbol of it should be our ball," and noted it is backwards from basketball, where a raised arm means the foul was on you. "Which is weird because in class you raise your arm to say call on me," he said. "The whole thing's confusing."

At number two: anytime you are hit below the knee, grab your shin and "writhe like you've been stabbed by a foot-long knife." Every time, Rich said, the replay shows contact on the heel or the foot, and the player is clutching the shin anyway. He had a rule ready. Pull that act, and you are not allowed to get up within 20 seconds and "run like a deer like it never happened."

His top observation was the simplest. "Absolutely no one needs, let alone wants, hydration breaks," Rich said. Fans are booing them now. "Fans have become anti-water. Anti-hydration. Let's keep going."

Asked for one more, Rich obliged. "Some World Cup fans are like the sun. You got to glance and look away." He pointed to fans getting busted for staring a little too long, which gets dangerous when you are watching with your significant other. "It's a Seinfeld world," he said. "You got to glance."

The segment kept rolling from there. One member of the crew announced plans to work the 2030 World Cup as a crowd cameraman. The room quickly upgraded the idea to Rich Eisen Show correspondents on the ground, interviewing fans and getting the local feel, with someone pointing out you can take the ferry to Tangiers.

Then there was the usual one that nearly made the list: the hair. Players run for 100 minutes and it stays perfectly parted. "What is that stuff made of? Super glue?" came the question from the room. The crew went down the list of sports hair. Hockey hair is strong but spends its time under a helmet. So does football hair, and baseball hair is under a helmet or a hat. Golf hair loses points for the tan line.

The verdict was unanimous. Soccer hair is second to none.