NFL Week 9 ‘Higher Register’ – Cowboys, Chargers & Ravens Tepid Takes

The rules of the Higher Register Take of the Week are simple. You have to go higher register to make yourself believe what you're saying. And as Rich warned newcomers, once you learn the tell, you will never again miss a friend or partner doing it.

This week's crew struggled to hit the notes. That was half the fun.

Chris went first and admitted he was going back to the well. It's November, his team still doesn't have a win, and it is facing an opponent he can't quite figure out. "Their record says no, but their past says yes, and their quarterback's playing well," Chris said. "We like their head coach. I'm just choosing to believe." His take: "This is the week it all turns around for Herbert and the Chargers."

It did not land. The studio said he sounded more Seinfeld than anything, then compared his delivery to someone being cattle prodded. Chris owned it. "Well, it's hard to believe," he said. He pointed to defenses saying Herbert is throwing deli meat out there, but insisted it's now or never. Rich translated the subtext: "I don't want to be winless. I don't want to have no wins. That's what it sounds like."

TJ was up next, and he went with the Colts. They're waving the white flag, he said, throwing in the towel "like Arnold Skaaland did when the Iron Sheik had Bob Backlund in the camel clutch in '83." And because of that, TJ declared, the Cowboys are going to easily take care of business against Indianapolis on Sunday. "It's a done deal." The studio pushed back on the Dallas angle, with a reminder from earlier in the show that the Cowboys are not dead yet. One more stab at conviction, "I'm completely confident we're going to win this game," came out more like someone reassuring himself that everything's fine.

Then Rich stepped up to show everyone how it's done. "You still can't go higher right now," he chided the room.

His pick came with a bit of guilt. Rich admitted he kind of buried Baltimore's third-string quarterback on the previous show, and he felt bad about it, because every Sunday he sits two seats down from "the human being who is the personification of you never know in the National Football League." Rich wasn't promising a magic carpet ride. He even figured the kid might only get one start, since the Ravens had just acquired Jacoby Brissett.

But tonight, against the Jaguars? "I kind of think he can go out there and just complete a couple passes," Rich said, voice climbing. He laid out the game plan for offensive coordinator Declan Doyle: easy shots, quick throws, get Zay Flowers a touch right away. A little play fake to Derrick Henry. "You think we're just going to throw it? We'll run it 50 times to Derrick Henry. Oh, no no, here we go. Pass." Then a quick touch to Flowers, a quick touch to Bateman. "Touch touch," Rich said. "Then all of a sudden we're running, we're throwing, we're winning."

His conclusion, delivered at full pitch: the Ravens' young quarterback is going to give you a game you're not expecting on Thursday Night Football, at home, on a short week. "Never know in the NFL."

The room poked at it. Jacksonville basically had a bye week last week, someone noted. Rich immediately folded. "Oh, I hear you. I get it. No, no, Jacksonville's really good." Trevor Lawrence, came the follow-up, is "like MVP level good."

Rich declared victory anyway. "That's how you do high register, guys," he said, even though, by his own admission, he had botched the quarterback's name while showing everyone how it's done. The studio wasn't so sure that's how you do it. Neither, perhaps, are the Ravens.