Did Your Team Make Chris Brockman’s Powerless Rankings of the NFL’s 10 Worst?

A couple of weeks after Rich unveiled his way-too-early power rankings, Chris Brockman went the other direction with the way-too-early powerless rankings, presented by SoFi. These are the bottom 10, the list no team wants to make, and Brockman counted down from 23 to 32.

He opened at 23 with the New York Giants, to TJ's delight. The running back is not fully healthy, Brockman said, the quarterback does not like to stay healthy, and the top receiver did not play last year. TJ's contribution was a shot at all the jewelry, suggesting the quarterback might stay healthier without 10 pounds of diamonds around his neck.

At 24 came the Washington Commanders, with Brockman wondering whether Dan Quinn belongs on the hot seat and openly worrying about the supporting cast around Jayden Daniels, an aging Terry McLaurin, an unproven second receiver, and a thin defense. The Colts landed at 25 after Brockman watched OTA video of Daniel Jones, noting that quarterbacks coming back from an Achilles injury rarely look great in year one, even in what he called a sneaky-good AFC South.

The Falcons sat at 26, an unpopular pick in Brockman's own house. He acknowledged Bijan Robinson is maybe the best offensive player in football and could threaten 2,000 yards from scrimmage, but the quarterback question loomed too large. Tennessee checked in at 27, where Brockman actually expects improvement, praising a fun young core and the bald coaching staff while conceding the Titans are not a playoff team yet.

Then, as he put it, things got rough. Cleveland landed at 28 despite strong recent drafts, because it all comes down to a quarterback room still searching for an answer. The Raiders followed at 29, with Brockman professing love for Ashton Jeanty and Brock Bowers even as he pleaded, in full bald-man solidarity, for Bowers to embrace the look and come home.

The Jets took 30, and Brockman did not overthink it. They have been losers for 50 years, he said, and he could not put Geno Smith above the Raiders after watching last season. He even worked in the running callback to Dustin from Arkansas, the caller who had the Jets sweeping the Patriots. Miami sat at 31, where Brockman wanted Malik Willis to do well but flagged the mixed messaging of trading the team's best receiver and re-signing the running back.

That left the Cardinals dead last at 32. It is not going to be good, Brockman said flatly, declaring the Arch Manning watch officially on. By his projection, Arizona ends up with the worst record in football and the number one pick. A bleak, a roast, and a graphic everyone agreed was special.