Are the Dallas Cowboys EVER Going to Solve Whatever’s Ailing Their Defense???

Jerry Jones speaks in absolutes. His head coach, it turns out, does not.

On his weekly appearance on 105.3 The Fan, which happened to fall on his birthday, Jones said defensive coordinator Christian Parker is moving upstairs to the coaches' booth. Rich's conscience got in his ear during the commercial break, because by Wednesday Brian Schottenheimer was telling reporters something different.

"No, none of those decisions have been finalized," Schottenheimer said at his press conference. He explained that adding Mike Pettine might change the plan entirely. "There's a good chance that Christian Parker is on the field and Pettine is up, and we'll talk through those things as we go."

Rich wanted to know whether this was the first time Jerry had said something only for Schottenheimer to come out and say it isn't yet the case. Nobody in the room could say for sure.

TJ, the room's resident Cowboys fan, saw the gap for what it was. "Jerry just speaks in absolutes, you know, so like you would think if he says it, then yes, it's happening. It's a done deal," he said. "And then the coach is like, well, no, that hasn't been decided at all, and you're like, oh jeez, what's going on there now?"

Still, TJ found something to like. The Cowboys have at least admitted the current setup isn't working. "Will it work? I don't know, but they have realized that what is going on hasn't worked well enough," he said.

Then came the vote of confidence. Schottenheimer insisted all decisions will run through Parker. "I believe so strongly in the guy. I do. I think the guy's an incredible football coach," he said, adding that "no one is sitting here pointing the fingers at Christian Parker," while also mentioning personnel adjustments being worked on behind the scenes.

The room was not entirely sold on that framing. "He's supporting him by bringing somebody else in," came the reply. TJ put it more bluntly: if it were working well enough, the Cowboys wouldn't have needed to bring Pettine in. "It's that simple."

All of this sets up a Sunday night date with Green Bay, and TJ does not have a good feeling. Rich, who hasn't made his pick yet, kept asking why Dallas couldn't win. The answer he got was that the Cowboys just got lit up by an undrafted backup and now face a Packers team whose Jordan Love is on fire.

"Every time you don't have a good feeling about it, they turn around and play better," Rich told him.

"Well, I hope you're right," TJ said.

There was a note of caution in the room for anyone feeling confident about the favorite: dogs in primetime games are seven and 0 over the last seven. In a season everyone in the room agreed has been completely out of whack, Dallas over Green Bay doesn't sound so crazy.

The survivor pool talk only confirmed it. One of the crew got knocked out by taking the Bucs over Cleveland, reasoning there was no way Baker Mayfield was losing that game. The safe play this year, the room decided, is simply picking whoever is playing Miami.