The Most Pessimistic Washington Commanders Fan in the World Lives in Australia

Andrew, a Washington Commanders fan from Newcastle, Australia, called into the show at 4:30 a.m. local time, on a break from his nursing night shift. He went through the entire 2026 Commanders schedule with Rich. He had Washington finishing 5-12.

The first six games, in Andrew's reading, did not produce a single win. He projected losses against the Eagles, Cowboys, Seahawks, Colts (in London), Giants, and 49ers. By the time the bye hit on the schedule, Andrew was open to a 0-7 start.

"We might even lose the bye," Andrew said.

The room laughed.

The first projected win in Andrew's accounting was against the Eagles in the rematch.

"We do have to win eventually," Andrew said, "so it might as well be against the hated Birds."

After that, Andrew was equally pessimistic. He had Washington losing to the Rams. He had them splitting with the Giants on Thursday night. He had them losing to the Bengals on Monday night. He had them winning at Arizona, citing the Cardinals' Jacoby Brissett situation, and then beating Tennessee.

That was Andrew's high-water mark. He had Washington at 4-8.

Then the losses resumed. Texans. Falcons. Vikings. Jaguars. Five straight in Andrew's projection. The schedule closes with a home Cowboys game in Week 18, which Andrew predicted Washington would win for what he described as a meaningless final-week victory.

The final tally, by Andrew's math, was 5-12.

Rich was equal parts horrified and impressed. The structural part of the call was that Andrew, despite his pessimism, had clear reasons for it. He flagged the team's new offensive and defensive coordinators as unknown commodities. He acknowledged Dan Quinn's first-year lightning-in-a-bottle but worried the magic was already gone.

"I want to be wrong," Andrew said. "Tell me why I could be wrong."

Rich gave him the obvious answer.

"You could be wrong because of Jayden Daniels," Rich said. "That's the end of that story."

The conversation closed warmly. Rich pointed out that Andrew was on a nursing shift in Newcastle, that his patient was hopefully not currently losing oxygen, and that 4:30 a.m. is an exceptionally devoted hour to be calling in to predict your team's losses.

"This is the worst episode of The Pit ever," Rich said. "Stay strong, brother."

He sent Andrew back to work. The Commanders, in Andrew's universe, have to win five games for him to keep his sanity. The actual season, like every NFL season, will write its own ending.

Jayden Daniels, Rich noted, remains the single largest reason Andrew might end the year apologizing.