Is Your Squad on Our List of NFL Teams That Can’t Afford an 0-2 Start???

The history is short and it is not encouraging. In the entire history of the NFL, three teams have started 0-2 and gone on to win the Super Bowl. The 2007 Giants, the 2001 Patriots and the 1993 Cowboys.

All three did it in 16 game seasons. Nobody has managed it in the 17 game era.

You can still go places from 0-2. The Bears started that way last season and won a playoff game. Winning the whole thing is the part that has almost never happened, which is why the show went through the teams that can least afford to open that way.

The list ran seven deep.

The Chargers came first, and there was no argument. They were one of the offseason hype teams alongside the Rams and Broncos, which means all three are technically eligible for this conversation. But Los Angeles took the worst Week 1 loss of anybody, in part because nobody expected the Cardinals to look that good.

The schedule offers no mercy either, with the Bills and Seahawks ahead, and the Raiders this week.

That prompted a detour, because the Raiders looked genuinely impressive. The caveat is that they played a Miami team that might be the bottom of the league, a claim that drew an immediate challenge over whether the Dolphins are worse than the Browns. Nobody landed that one, though there was agreement Miami will be picking in the top five.

Las Vegas has its own questions with Brock Bowers out. What they do have is Ashton Jeanty, who was the subject of a prayer circle after his injury scare and then turned in the second best running back performance of the weekend.

"Maybe there should be more prayer circles."

The tone of the praise did get flagged. Reacting to the Raiders and Cardinals with good job, good job is roughly how one celebrates a toddler walking for the first time.

Green Bay was next, and the stakes there are domestic. If Matt LaFleur goes 0-2 while the Cardinals keep winning and his brother sits at 2-0, that is tough sledding for the family business.

The question of what the LaFleur parents do got real consideration. They were at the Cardinals game, which reads as a choice. Matt has been coaching a long time, so going to Mike's first ever game makes sense. After that, it gets complicated.

"Baby of the family always gets the most attention."

That opened a broader complaint about coverage. There are far more families in this league than anyone talks about. The Kelces get their due. The Edmunds come up, but usually only one or two of the three. Thomas Jones and Julius Jones. The Matthews. A lot of good stories going unused.

Then TJ got his turn in the barrel, because the Cowboys belong on this list.

Dallas has another division game coming against the Commanders, and going 0-2 in the division before a trip to Rio would be genuinely bad for tiebreakers.

TJ's response was to reconsider his travel plans. He had been trying to get on a flight to Rio and now thinks he might stay home, though he does not want to miss the game.

His larger frustration is that the Eagles won and he has to live with it. He did not think Philadelphia looked convincing, and he does not think a team built the way that one is built should have let Washington hang around that long.

The counterargument came fast, and it is correct. A win is a win, and nobody gets judged on aesthetics.

Tampa Bay made the list too. This is a big week for Baker Mayfield against the Browns, which carries its own history, and the stretch after that is unforgiving with Minnesota, Green Bay and Dallas.

Realistically, everyone in the NFC South needs a win. Carolina plays Atlanta, so at least one of them is guaranteed to get one.

The last entry was personal for one voice at the desk. New England needs this.

Week 1 feels like ancient history and was only last Wednesday. The Patriots were up 10 points against a backup quarterback, which is a game you have to close out with Drake Maye and that roster. Then A.J. Brown went down, TreVeyon Henderson was unavailable, and the whole thing came apart. Maye looked like a rookie again.

Maye was asked what went wrong in the fourth quarter and did not dress it up.

"Just got impatient. And made decisions that ended up costing us offensively and putting our defense in a bad spot," he said. "We're on to Pittsburgh. We got another week and another chance in this league. Dealing with the ups and downs in this league, that's part of it."

On to Pittsburgh. Somebody noted he was channeling his inner Belichick, which is not the worst instinct for a young quarterback in that building.

The Brown injury is the real problem. He was supposed to transform that offense and looked like he would, and now he is on injured reserve, leaving Mike Vrabel to find a passing game some other way.

The play calling drew scrutiny too. Josh McDaniels had a rough afternoon against a depleted Seattle secondary that seemed to invite deep shots nobody took. Brown did not see a target until the second drive.

Without him, the depth chart gets uncomfortable fast. Romeo Doubs was described as atrocious by one member of the desk, who pointed out that making plays is precisely why he was brought in, and that Mack Hollins cannot be the answer either. A return to practice could add an explosive element back.

Pittsburgh visits next, and the Steelers arrive without much shine themselves, having really only beaten Atlanta at home because of a T.J. Watt pick six.

If New England drops its home opener and falls to 0-2, the schedule takes over. Jacksonville and Buffalo are next, and 0-4 becomes a live possibility.

At which point somebody said the quiet part out loud.

"Doom and gloom should be our nickname."

The conversations have been dark all week, before the show and during it, over exactly 60 minutes of football. The counterpoint was offered, half heartedly, that this is a marathon and not a sprint.

"I feel like it's a sprinting marathon."

Tranquilo, everyone.