(Bald) Rich Does NOT Want to Hear about (Formerly Bald) Brian Urlacher’s Bad Hair Days

Brian Urlacher showed up on The Rich Eisen Show wearing a hat and apologizing for his hair. For Rich, that was the problem.

"I need a haircut. I need a haircut really bad," Urlacher explained, noting the hat was part of heading out early to play golf.

Rich wasn't having it. "Brian Urlacher complaining about a bad hair day is something I cannot compute," he said. "I just can't compute it."

Urlacher wondered if Rich was jealous because it looked so good. From his own perspective, he said, it looked bad because he hadn't combed it and was stuck under a hat. "It's rough."

Rich clarified his emotions. "It's not jealousy. It's anger."

"Because I have hair now?" Urlacher asked.

"No, you left me on the battlefield," Rich said. And not just him. "Left Brockman on the battlefield," Rich continued, along with the show's sound engineer, Jason Feller, who has also been left behind.

Urlacher tried to soften the blow by complimenting the remaining bald contingent. Of one member of the crew, he said, "That's a good bald and you got a little beard going. That's nice." His theory was simple. "You guys got good bald shaped heads, so you should be bald," he said. "My head looked kind of weird bald maybe, so that's why I grew hair."

He then walked Rich through the process, which he made sound like hard labor. "The hair, it came from the back of my head and they just relocated it to the front where I was really bald and now it's just poof," Urlacher said. "I got to wash it every day. I got to comb it. It's a process, bro."

"Oh, so sorry to hear that, man," came the reply.

Urlacher pressed on with his struggles. "When I take my hat off, I got to try and make it look like it's not messed up. It's tough."

The suggestion from the show: reach out to Trevor Lawrence for tips on shampoo and conditioner, two products or one.

Urlacher already has his system. "I use the one, both in one," he said. "It makes it easier. It eliminates more of the steps in the process."

For the bald members of the show, that will have to count as a small consolation. The former bald guy now has a hair routine, and he wants everyone to know it takes effort.